Is it an embodied YES or an embodied NO?

Hey there, remember me and that fun, magical little newsletter I promised everyone I was going to write? lol.

How about a compromise?

Let’s just start here…

One thing about me: I get distracted by all the things I want to do — all the versions of me I want to be — and it gets pretty overwhelming at times. So naturally, I assume it’s overwhelming (or maybe just annoying) for everyone else, too.

Which causes me to stifle myself, hide in my cave, and keep my head down so no one notices that I’m constantly shapeshifting. Constantly.

In September of 2021, I had this amazing idea to put together a wellness event with a primary goal of reconnecting people with community and their personal sense of wellbeing after nearly two years of seclusion and fear of illness. 

This idea lit me up from the inside out and the desire to make it real drove every action — from creating and growing a brand and social media page, to filing permits, to collecting money from interested participants, and so many other things until finally, I’d done the damn thing. 

And people loved it! So much so that when I’d decided to rinse and repeat the event the following year, it was even bigger and more successful than the previous one had been. I was even highlighted in Gulfshore Life Magazine for what I had created for my community. I felt a little like a rising star. But I also felt something else… a newfound sense of obligation.

As 2023 was coming to an end, I knew I needed to start planning and organizing the 2024 event, but I kept putting it off. I kept telling myself I had plenty of time, that things would work out, and that it would be easy once I got started. 

Internally, there was a growing sense of resistance that I couldn’t ignore. Meanwhile, people were still praising me for my work, asking about the next next event, and eager to get involved. And I knew I didn’t have a choice — I would have to move forward with the event, because it’s what people wanted. I was obligated.

Reluctantly, I started putting the plans into motion. I secured a date and a location and I had even put out a call for vendors. I was ready to grind until once again, magic was made.

And then, in January of this year, my husband's father passed away, and all of a sudden, life got really hard, really quick.

Naturally, we took time to grieve, to be together as a family, to support the necessary arrangements, fill the empty spaces and figure out what life would look like moving forward. And after all of that hardship and loss, any energy I had mustered for the event was completely gone. 

And that’s when I finally realized — at the end of the day, I can’t let my life and the things I choose to do be about what other people want from me. It has to be about what I want. It has to be about listening to my embodied YES and my embodied NO. And unfortunately, sometimes it takes challenges like the ones I’ve faced this year to get messages like that through my own thick skull.

Once upon a time, the SWFL Wellness Fair was a fully embodied YES that I followed, and it was beautiful. But in 2024, I’m sad to admit — it’s a no from me dawg. Still, I’m glad I was finally able to accept that this is my truth, and now I can move forward with the things that currently feel like a fully embodied YES.

Does that mean the SWFL Wellness Fair will never be again? Not necessarily. It just means not right now. Because right now, I have bigger fish to fry, and that is where I’m choosing to put my energy. 

I hope that you are finding ways to connect with and follow your fully embodied yes(es), and listen to your embodied no(s).

Sending love, levity, and lot’s of fairy dust ✨

Xoxo,

Alex