The Ghost that Follows Me

Prologue

“Oh – you have a lot of ghosts around you.”

That’s what the psychic medium I went to see earlier this year told me. 

“They like you,” she said.

Honestly, I’ve always been fascinated by the idea of ghosts. Afraid… but definitely fascinated. I’ve often wondered if I might be able to unlock some sort of special ability to see or talk to ghosts if I wanted to. I definitely haven’t wanted to – because, fear – but the curiosity has always been there. 

When I was in college, I used to stay up late watching Ghost Hunters on my little, 13-inch TV, and then hide under the covers when I couldn’t sleep afterwards because I was SO scared. 

The TV was a gift from a friend. He and I would talk on the phone for hours (during my high school years). Often he would suggest we watch something together while we talked (this was before either of us had cars or the ability to drive wherever we wanted, whenever we wanted. So we had to settle for OG* virtual hangouts like talking on the phone and watching the same show on TV together). 

In my house, I never had access to a TV. Other family members were just bigger TV people than I was. Plus, I was always the kind of kid who would relinquish what I wanted, to give others what they wanted – either because I liked making other people happy or I hated getting into fights (you can pick which version of that you like better). I didn’t mind, really. I was usually more interested in other things (unless it was a Disney movie or something cute & whimsical). 

Still, every time my friend suggested we watch TV together, I had to tell him I couldn’t, and he would get frustrated. So, later that year (for my birthday), he bought me a 13-inch TV. Problem solved. 

I don’t have the TV anymore, but the sentimental part of me wishes that I did. I still have the friend, though. Which is so special, and definitely much better. 

Okay, so my very first encounter with a ghost (that I can remember) was when I was 16. The ghost was new to our house and had taken residence in my little sister’s room. I don’t think he lived there full time. He just liked to visit… and scare us every now and then.

He first arrived when my abuelo* came to visit us that year (2005 if you must know). Abuelito (as we lovingly called him) stayed in my little sister’s room for two weeks, and during that time, my sister and I shared a room – just like when we were younger.

Anyway – one day, my mom heard Abuelito’s voice coming from the room where he stayed. Was he talking to someone? She wondered; so she poked her head in to see what was going on.

“Oh, you’re praying,” she said to him in Spanish (he didn’t speak English).

“I’m not praying,” he said. “I’m talking to my mom.”

Apparently, my sweet abuelito was in the habit of speaking to his deceased mother every day. And, as the story goes, Abuelito’s mom (my bisabuela*) had another son (my abuelito’s brother), who passed away at a young age (12, 13, or 14), and where my bisabuela went, that 12, 13, or 14 year-old followed.

This boy, (my would-be great uncle), had been dead a long time, and through his many years in ghostly form, he had learned to play tricks. Naturally, being the young boy that he was, he LOVED to play tricks on us.

One day, I was sitting in the family room, messing around with the keyboard I’d gotten for my birthday that year (I believe this was the same year I received my 13-inch TV). As I worked on learning which keys went with which notes, I heard a knocking on the kitchen wall. 

The kitchen in my parent’s house shared a wall with the Jack and Jill bathroom between both of my sisters’ rooms, and my older sister just so happened to be in the tub.

Sometimes, when we were in the bathroom, if we needed something (like TP*), we would knock on the wall to get someone’s attention. See illustration below.

I heard the familiar knocking, so naturally, I went to the bathroom door (through my younger sister’s room) to see what my older sister needed.

“Hey, do you need something?” I said through the door.

“Who was knocking?” she asked.

“You were knocking,” I said.

“No I wasn’t,” she said.

Then, directly behind me, I heard the pitter patter of running footsteps on the carpet – parum-pum-pum-pum – directly behind me. I turned quickly, but no one was there.

Completely and utterly frightened, I ran upstairs to get my parents. And as any dutiful parent would, my dad came down to check the closet and look under the bed before assuring me that nothing was there.

As the years would pass, every family member in the house would come to have at least one interaction with our little ghost-boy, but my little sister was the first to make friends with him – since it was her room that he liked to visit.

These days, he follows me around from time to time. I think he likes it when I tell his story.

Epilogue

I have to say — my mental health has been in rough shape this month. This is not abnormal; it’s pretty typical for me to go into a mental health dip around this time of year. And as a result, I feel like I haven’t really been delivering the way I’ve wanted to with this newsletter.

But I don’t want to get into the habit of not writing and communicating in this space just because I’m feeling off. So I apologize if the notes you’ve been receiving from me haven’t been the whimsical, inspirational, magical, or romantic kind of content I promised. I’ve been doing my best!

The past few days, I’ve started to feel better. And I have a few shout outs to make/people to express gratitude toward. On one of my worst mental health days this season, I had to make myself show up for a photoshoot. I was in a pretty bad space that day and I certainly did not feel like being photographed. But my photographer pal’s, Erin and Zac really came through for me that day. They helped pull me out of my funk by making the experience so fun, and really hyping me up. And the photos came out AMAZING!

I also booked myself an astrology reading for the recent eclipse portal with astrologer and friend, Ellen Medina. This reading was incredibly validating and helpful in terms of getting the most out of my experience with the eclipse energy, as well as sorting out what sort of work I needed to focus on internally.

And I especially have to say thank you and give a big shoutout to my friend/favorite yoga teacher, D Garcia. Staying consistent with her classes through my little mental health blip has been so incredibly helpful, and I’m so grateful to have her teaching at Ritual Space. I can’t recommend her classes enough. If you need some kind of uplifting movement practice in your life, go to her classes. They’re hard, but the experience is always so worth it.

The inspiration for this piece came the morning after I took one of her classes last week. I hope you enjoyed it.

Okay, now go forth and be magical!

Xoxo,

Glossary

*OG means “Old Gangster” which is a millennial way of describing the way something used to be.

*Abuelo – Spanish for grandfather 

*Bisabuela – Spanish for great grandmother

*TP means toilet paper.