Oh the Lessons You Will Learn

I have to tell you a secret…

I like to watch kids movies and shows. And TBH, sometimes I enjoy watching content that was made for kids more than content that was made for people my age, and I’ll tell you why.

1. Animation is an artform I enjoy

2. Generally, kid shows have more magic than adult shows

3. I’m basically an adult-sized kid.

Okay, now that we’ve got that out of the way, here’s the reason I’m sharing this secret with you today:

In general, I’ve noticed that watching kids’ movies and shows helps me identify and work through my shit.

Seriously. About a month ago, I watched an episode of the Rapunzel animated series with my nieces on Disney Plus, and now, just the other day, I had to address some of the same issues Rapunzel faced in the show, in my own life. This is a prime example of what I like to call magic. You can call it a synchronicity if you want.

So let’s talk about it. In the episode, Rapunzel was dead-set on getting one of the other characters to like her. 

Okay, Rapunzel. I see you. And I get it, because I don’t like being disliked either. (My thoughts during the episode).

So this character (Morty was his name) had a major problem with Rapunzel; but his reason for disliking her had nothing to do with her (not really anyway), and everything to do with him. 

It’s not revealed until near the end of the episode, but his feelings about her have something to do with an art piece she’d made that replaced an old piece of art that was meaningful to him (or something like that).

Anyway, Rapunzel couldn’t stand being disliked by someone. So she went about trying to change herself – literally dressing up and acting like someone else – all in an effort to change his mind about her.

I feel like this is an old lesson that my psyche needed me to address, because literally…

I made some decisions for the SWFL Wellness Fair (as I often do), and recently, someone who is participating in the event had a problem with some of those decisions. They chose to make me aware of said problem, and when they did, my immediate response was to apologize and make some changes to accommodate what they thought was best. 

And it wasn’t until after I took a moment to sit and breathe that I realized that this immediate response was not my true response. It was a fear response.

The SWFL Wellness Fair is my event. I put it together every year based on my vision. It’s an art, a form of self expression, and a labor of love that I undertake for the benefit of my community… 

So like, why did I jump so quickly to make a change for one person’s preference?

Let’s talk about Rapunzel some more…

Naturally, while Rapunzel was dressed up like someone else, Morty enjoyed her company and the two of them got along just fine; he actually liked her! But once she’d revealed her true identity, his original feelings were reinstated.

In the end, Rapunzel had to accept that no matter what you do, you just can’t control how other people feel about you. Maybe something that makes you happy makes them mad. Maybe the way you live your life is triggering to them for some reason or another. Maybe they feel threatened by you. Or maybe they just can’t stand the sound of your voice…

People’s personal preferences, life experiences, and perceptions of you are always going to play a role in how they feel about you. You could be the best, most kind-hearted person with the purest intentions, and even still, you might rub some people the wrong way. 

And part of the lesson here is that changing yourself, how you make decisions, or how you choose to live your life in an effort to earn another person’s approval is never the answer.

After reflecting on my own personal experience with this very issue, I was pretty mad at myself for agreeing to make the requested change so quickly and without putting any effort into standing up for my original decisions.

I know I can’t please everyone, and yet I still jumped to make a change because I was afraid of upsetting someone. And to be honest, that feels pretty shitty.

At the end of the day, it’s really not a big deal. It’s not a major change, and the change itself is not the point. It’s the way I handled the situation. The way I completely disregarded myself, what I wanted, and the decisions I’d made as the creator of this event. 

The event will go on and it will still be an amazing day. Some people will love and appreciate it. Others will probably be dissatisfied, and that’s okay. All I can do is my best.

This is just an opportunity for me to reflect on why I’m so afraid of disappointing people so that I can work on rewriting an outdated script that I just don’t need anymore.

All of that being said, please save the date for the 2024 SWFL Wellness Fair! Saturday May 4th from 10am to 4pm at the Calusa Nature Center in Fort Myers. Bring your family and friends. $10 entry for adults. $5 for kids. All entry fees go directly to the Calusa Nature Center in support of their mission to promote nature preservation and education.

I hope to see you there!

Xoxo,

PS — Seriously though, watching TV shows and movies, reading short stories and poems or books, consuming content that was designed for entertainment, but still hits home with impactful messages, insightful ideas, and important lessons is one of my favorite things, and it’s something I aspire to as a writer.

Talk soon!